GW2 April 1 Game Update Patch Notes

GW2 April 1 Game Update Patch Notes.

General:

  • Alacrity now grants 200 to all stats, and speeds up skill recharge by 150%.
  • Fixed a bug that prevented random number generation from being affected by wishful thinking.
  • Random number generation is no longer random. It is now seeded by account name.
  • We have added a Gem Store item that will allow you to change your account name for the low, low price of 2,000 gems. There is no limit on the number of purchases.
  • If you plant Caladbolg in the Grove, you will gain a new Mini Trahearne Backpack. With careful feeding and attention, he will grow up to accompany you on your adventures.
  • Additional beard skins can be unlocked after purchasing Wide Rim Glasses and Shoulder Scarf from the Gem Store.
  • Sylvari now regenerate 1% of their health in sunlight. Requires water.

Elementalist:

  • Fire Attunement now sets the caster on fire until water attunement is cast.

Engineer:

  • A new bomb cannot be placed until all existing bombs have exploded.

Guardian:

  • Reduced longbow skill range to 600. Increased range of projectiles fired by shield skills to 1,200 to compensate.
  • Morality system added for guardians. Failing to remain virtuous will cause you to lose access to your Virtue skills.

Mesmer:

  • Due to time fluctuations, Alacrity can no longer be applied to chronomancers.
  • The following mesmer weapons can now only be wielded in the off hand: sword, scepter, staff, and greatsword.

Necromancer:

  • Minion skills now require corpses. Flesh Golem requires multiple corpses to cast.
  • Fixed a bug that allowed professions other than necromancer to talk to ghost NPCs.

Ranger:

  • Ranger pets now require food. Failing to feed your pet will cause them to leave your kennel.
  • Rangers can now dual-wield short bows.

Revenant:

  • The Legendary Assassin Stance skill Phase Traversal now creates a portal that other players can use to follow you.
  • Fixed a typo: “Facet of X” has been changed to “Faucet of X.” The functionality of this skill has been updated to reflect its fixed name.

Thief:

  • Stealing from NPCs will now aggro town guards if you are seen.
  • Shadowstepping no longer functions in areas with no shadows.

Warrior:

  • Warriors can now triple-wield weapons by slotting a third weapon into their helmet slot.
  • Phalanx Strength now applies Fury, Regeneration, Protection, Aegis, Resistance, Vigor, Swiftness, Quickness, Alacrity, Spotter, Stealth, Super Speed, and Fire Attunement in addition to Might.

Raids
General

  • Infantile mode is now available for all raids. Bosses have 50% reduced health and outgoing damage. Loot from the boss chests consists of two blues and a green.
  • Elementalists now gain a -20% outgoing damage enhancement when setting foot in a raid, until they leave.

Spirit Vale:

  • The Vale Guardian now splits into six colors instead of three.

Salvation Pass:

  • Slothasor is tired of the constant interrupts from his naps and will now enrage, dealing 500% outgoing damage each time he wakes up.

Stronghold of the Faithful:

  • Glenna insists she is not your puppy and will now sometimes refuse to follow players.

Bastion of the Penitent:

  • The Mursaat Overseer now has new chess pieces added to its encounter.
    • Jade knights will instantly stomp any player that is downed.
    • Jade bishops will dash in unpredictable diagonal patterns across the room, claiming all tiles in their path.

Lion’s Arch Aerodrome:

  • The trading-post merchant has been crushed by boxes again. Look for his return when his lawsuit against the Black Lion Trading Company inevitably ends in dismissal.
  • The technician in the Special Forces Training Arena has finished collecting her data and as such does not require adventurers’ aid. She has left the zone and will no longer spawn golems. She was last heard muttering something about DPS meter elitism.

Fractals

PvP

  • Extended our dishonor system to anyone who says “get good” in chat.
  • If a thief kills another thief, they receive 5 minutes of dishonor.

WvW

  • Now when ArenaNet claims an objective, all players inside the objective are invulnerable.
  • World-linked all worlds in NA to Blackgate and every world in EU to Far Shiverpeaks.
  • Killing members of Yak’s Bend will now count toward the Yakslapper title.
  • The tides have risen in the Eternal Battlegrounds. All combat is underwater.
  • The team that controls Stonemist may now send invaders into other worlds’ dungeons and raid instances. Invaders will be represented by a red glow.
  • Epidemic target cap is now unlimited in WvW.
  • Siege adjustments:
    • Removed trebuchets.
    • Removed catapults.
    • Removed shield generators.
    • Removed ballistas.
    • Removed siege golems.
    • Halved damage on flame rams.
    • Doubled damage on arrow carts.
  • Tony Schoepe

    Maybe I can get the Yakslapper title after all! lol

  • Alot

    I’m in favour of the necro, rev, warrior, thief and all non-class changes.

  • mjm

    “Infantile mode is now available for all raids. Bosses have 50% reduced health and outgoing damage. Loot from the boss chests consists of two blues and a green”.

    If only this could be real… 90% of players would have a real chance for legendary armor.

    • Ares Zax

      Late patch notes addition:

      “Players can now subscribe to Guild Wars 2 for $30/month. Subscribers get a free Legendary weapon on their birthday and a free Legendary armor piece every month.”

    • kazerniel

      I would love that mode. Also soloable dungeons (by average mortals too). I feel like I miss a lot of story/lore/skins because these contents are too difficult for a casual lvl player.

    • Tachi

      I’d love a shot at legendary armour and I’m not sure why an easy mode with reduced/worse loot would be that bad, but honestly at this point even just getting to experience the raids would be nice.

  • I found a new hungry cat

    • Lala

      Where?

  • Jasmine Lock

    This is a good April Fools joke patch right here. I love it!

  • Freee

    Some of the changes should stay there. for real 😀

  • Ummm can warrior get this please? I need Triple wield !

  • narg

    If you plant Caladbolg in the Grove, you will gain a new Mini
    Trahearne Backpack. With careful feeding and attention, he will grow up
    to accompany you on your adventures.

    Sylvari now regenerate 1% of their health in sunlight. Requires water.

    that feeling, when one joke is far far better then all shit from anet for over two years

  • Neltisen

    “Warriors can now triple-wield weapons by slotting a third weapon into their helmet slot.”

    Zoro? Is that you?

  • Jasmine Lock

    “Warriors can now triple-wield weapons by slotting a third weapon into their helmet slot.”
    “Shadowstepping no longer functions in areas with no shadows.”
    “Fire Attunement now sets the caster on fire until water attunement is cast”
    “If a thief kills another thief, they receive 5 minutes of dishonor.”
    “Extended our dishonor system to anyone who says “get good” in chat.”
    “Sylvari now regenerate 1% of their health in sunlight. Requires water.”

    Oh how I love you Anet.

  • mroizo

    Hahaha awesome read!

  • Steve

    So April Fools is now just writing silly things? No actually programming?

    • Angsa

      Actually they have been doing these fake updates since GW1

      • Steve

        Read closer Angsa. I said that its “just” that now. Like, the only thing… nothing else. But thanks for the FYI.

    • RKC

      Yeah I missed the old days that they added something silly to the game like that aviator cap April Fools years ago.

  • Io

    I have a really high sense of humor but i dont know why i find this cringy. Its like a reddit daydream expansion leak post level. They shouldve at least make it interesting like blizzard did with April fools patch notes for WoW, at first it seems like a real patch notes then cringy at the end. With or without fake screenshots.

    • Cynewulf

      Seems like their earlier stuff (GW1 days) was almost believable whereas this is just over the top.

    • Drool Bear

      At least they did something. Biofail did nothing with SWTOR. It took the reddit moderators to do something with their https://www.reddit.com/r/swtor/ page.

      • Taiwan Wolf

        Bioware still participated in April Fools day in what was probably the most expensive prank in history; Mass Effect Andromeda.

    • Zenith

      Who gives a shit about these tired fake notes. I could do without any of them, they’re a waste of time.

  • Paco Chung

    The team that controls Stonemist may now send invaders into other
    worlds’ dungeons and raid instances. Invaders will be represented by a
    red glow.

    GW2: Prepare to Die Edition

  • St Hapit

    omg anet are so funny holy shit *ha*.

    anet is one company who should not get slack-on during a holiday, they have so much shit unfixed – and this only shows that they give zero fucks. you can clearly see that they know what are the problems since day one of gw2 launch and they just laugh at their players ‘hah we know, but what’evs’

    PS: in general this “fools-date” is lacking as much humor as are their recent designs of armours(outfits) and weapons.

    • neophobia

      PS: in general you are lacking as much humor as your recent messages.

      • Raizel

        I’m sure its point was not to amuse you in anyway, but you being a simpleton you clearly took it to heart – you shouldn’t defend anet so adamantly and blindly, like you do in all your posts.

        on-topic though; I think you went too gungwhore with that msg though

        • neophobia

          on-topic though; I think you went too gungwhore with that msg (no second though though)

    • Nice troll post. April Fools!

  • Nyanko Sama

    xD

  • jozeiax

    new class: club penguin enthuiast

  • John Doe

    “Extended our dishonor system to anyone who says “get good” in chat.”

    Ahahahahaha

  • Hall

    Took me a few to get it.

  • gitgud

    Jesus Christ so much hate about such an innocuous post. Just a handful of anet employees having a little fun.

    The devs dont ‘owe’ you anything. Lighten up you miserable fucks.

  • guest20151008

    “Fixed a bug that prevented random number generation from being affected by wishful thinking.” Huzzah!

  • Raizel

    It’s almost 2 months since previous LS4, it’s time for the announcement of LS5, c’mon anet!

  • commentor

    Maybe I’m getting old but I don’t really find these funny. The better AF joke is “suggestions and bugs fixes made since game launch are finally all implemented”

  • Caedes

    Wow. What a terrible, unprofessional and unfunny clump of patch notes. Practically makes SWTOR Developers at Bioware look like autistic savants.

    Jesus Christ, do GW2 players actually put up with this shit?

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